A deep permanent experience worth more than gold..

When I was a kid, my mom always asked me about my ambition and my answer would always be the same, to be a medical doctor. Ambition is something we really want to have or do but I realized that when I answered my mom’s question, it was more to just answering in order to make her feel glad. It was not the thing I really want to do neither the thing I really want to have.

I had been in confusion for 19 years, living and studying to pass a series of examination with hope to fulfill my mom’s expectation, without discovering my true desire. After I finished my STPM, I worked as a part time teacher in a private kindergarten where majority of the children there were Chinese and Indian. I then began to learn the art of teaching and the beauty of being an educationist. Frankly speaking, I’ve never imagined myself as a teacher and when I was there, standing in front of those adorable children, something inside me began to grow. A genuine ambition started to breed. I then confronted my mom, telling her that I cannot be the gold she wanted to see. From that moment on, I knew that her vision of me with a stethoscope began to fade. She was disappointed yet I knew she understood me well.

Dealing with five-year-old children in the kindergarten really tested me on my patience. I was teaching all subjects from Mathematics, English, Science and many more and I have to admit that it was not an easy job and not all people have credentials for this job. Some of my students were brainy, probably because their parents have taught them the basic knowledge at home while some came with empty-minded. Some of them did not understand a single word in English and I had to use gestures, images and graphics to show them the meaning of certain words. I was frustrated when one of my students could not even read a page from Peter and Jane book even after repeating the same page for a week. This was when, I realized what my teachers felt when their students could not catch up things that had been taught. However, I knew that I shall not give up and quit.

I’ve learnt many things throughout my experience, working as a teacher. I had to resign after working at the Urbantot’s Kindergarten for three months in order to further my study in this teaching field. A week after my resignation, Lakhvinder’s mother called me and told that her son refused to go to school because I was no longer there.I coaxed him by promising that I’ll give him a visit one day. It was a nice feeling to be remembered by my students and at that time, I felt the satisfaction of being a teacher.

Working there for three months might be a very short period yet it leads me to the path which I’ve decided to take for probably the rest of my life. It has wiped away the confusion in me, providing me with a clear vision of my future and ambition. Three months but it leaves a deep permanent experience worth more than gold.

The real Sinchan

well..well..well..look who's here..isn't he cute?huhuhu.. fyi, this is a photo of the real sinchan whose whole figure has been animated and has became the most renowned cartoon character nowadays. do you like watching this cartoon? i sometimes enjoy watching it with my little sister and brother yet sometimes this very naughty character annoys me. huhuhu.. i wonder if the real sinchan behave that way too.. well then, this is what i can share for today. c u again next time.. i gotta go and watch sinchan..keh3.. salam...

National Choir 2009

hello there, i'm back after being away for 4 days...i miss my laptop, my mama, room, nini, and IPBA very much but definately not the class of course...hahaha. last 4 days i went to Putrajaya for the National Choir practice. we knew about this event 2 weeks before, if i'm not mistaken. disappointment framed on our faces as we knew that we're not gonna enjoy our 10-day-break. I symphatized those who had already bought the tickets to their hometown. as for me, i was not badly affected as my abode is just nearby and i can go back every weekend. the last day before the break was full of surprise..HEP announced that the choir practice would only start on 28th August. the news travelled fast and everybody was smiling from ear to ear at the end of the day. thank God...

after enjoying ourselves for almost 5days, finally we had to go back to IPBA one day before the national choir practice started. briefing was given to inform us roughly on what we should and should not do. that night, we had our bags packed and pushed off to Putrajaya on friday morning... as we arrived at Putrajaya, i saw many IPGM buses from all the states in Malaysia.. a 21-level-flat became our temporary abode. it was okay and convenient enough for me. the first day was the most tiring one as we had to register ourselves, take the mattress, pillow, blanket and so on.. As the mortality rate of H1N1 is increasing day by day, safety precaution was taken by BPG such as checking the body temperature of all the participants. those who were having the symptoms had to go back and were not allowed to participate.. good for them as they can continue their sweet days sitting at home...hehe...

the schedule on the second day started as early as 5am.. we had to sahur at 3am and slept for only 2 hours... sigh... 97buses were provided to drive us to parliament that morning. to my disappoinment, the choir practice was not like what i expected. We had to stand on the right and left side of the road and sing nothing... merely like a waitress, welcoming the VVIP into an exclusive restaurant.. the practice ended very fast and we reached putrajaya at 10am.. i slept from 11am until 4.30pm.. huhu

the third day practise was the best as the practice took place at precint 18 itself. meaning that we didnt have to wake up early morning and rush to parliament. the cloud started turning grey when the practice was just about to start.. hehe.. good news for us..we were allowed to go back and the practice continued at 3pm.

here comes the final day... we had to wear an ugly baju batek..hahaha.. the gurls laughed looking at the guys's and so did the guys. yazid sms me early morning , telling me how frustrated he was...wearing that batek.he said he looked like a mamak amek order. hahaha.. i guess he was right. the event which was so called a 'choir' was going on smoothly that day and it ended very fast. i was standing among my friends except for dayah..she was lost somewhere..i tried to find her but the deluged pavement stopped me. i managed to find her only when the event ended... we pushed off to Putrjaya together..

well, to sum it up, it was not so bad nway... i gained new experience troughout this 4-day-choir... i managed to survive....yeehaa.... hahaha.. orite then, c ya next time ..bye

Orientation week

hello there..it has been quite "a while" ever since the last time i updated my blog.. i was quite busy deciding my future actually..huhu. i registered myself at Unisel and studied there until i got the offer from Ministry Of Education. it was a tough period, when i had to analyse which option offers me more advantages. After filtering the pros and cons of both options, i decided to be at the place i'm staying now..Institut Perguruan Bahasa Antarabangsa (IPBA).

The orientation week i had here was not really different from the one I had in Unisel. It was going on for one week.One torturous week,to be precised. =) my friends and I slept approximately 3 hours a day and just imagine how our eyes looked like. we looked like zombies. Many briefings were given on how to live in IPBA and the procedures, rules and regulations that we need to adhere. The briefings were given in the main hall most of the time, where the conditioned air lulled our eyes till they were completely shut. This is the time when i learnt many sleeping skills..which will probably be applied in class.huhu..

We didnt sleep all the time..just when it came to the dragged on talk.hehehe.. But the talk given by Sir Aslam Khan captured me. it was sort of motivating and uplifting. He made us think of the reasons for being here and being on the route towards becoming a teacher. Undeniably, he's a superb motivator! his words,acts and gestures made us laugh till we coulnt even tell when we gonna stop. One of his remarkable word is "A teacher makes a difference". Thanks Sir.

The last day of the week was the day we had been waiting ever since the first day. The closing ceremony was going smoothly and that was the very first time we met Dr.Sofi bin Ali, The Director of IPBA. his voice was thick and his words were full with accent. i wasnt so sure which accent it was. hehe.. he talked for quite a long time and suddenly stopped and asked one guy who was sleeping at that time."I'm so tired" the guy replied. then Dr Sofi asked the MPPs "what time did you let the people off to bed?". "11.30" they answered. huhu.. i was about to laugh.. well, if we were let off to bed that early, we wouldnt had been that tired.

So that's how the orientation ended.. we had our classes the following week..our new life...

A Part of the Training or Violence?

last few days I watched Buletin Utama. I was attracted to a news that kept me glued to the screen. the news was about an army being beaten by few other armies. so pathetic. based on their uniform, language and accent, i was highly confident that they were malaysians. they were commandos if im not mistaken. it brought me sudden shock which was then triggered a question. was that part of the training module or some sort of punishment to that particular person?curious me. some of the armies outside there might be saying that outsiders do not understand military life and to them, it might just be a normal thing to see.However, the person who stepped forward and exposed the video to TV3 was an army himself. so how would that be explained? why would an army reveal his dissatisfaction towards his own company? was that mean, he himself doesnt understand military life after over 20 years being an army??

well, maybe he doesnt understand. because being a commando is not as easy as people might think. do not make a hasty judgement. we ourselves must first know what is commando before making any assumptions. as far as i concern, commando is one of a group of soldiers who is trained to make SUDDEN attacks in enemy areas. they are trained to be super duper fit! they ought to surpass the threshold of mental and physical endurance. why? becuse its their duty. so how would us expect their trainings to look like? to just cry and quit when being beaten? or to withdraw and run when being attacked?

They are commandos..combatants..the shield. when civillians like us would cry in a war, they, the combatants rise, fight and protect. thats why they are trained so.. and not everybody has the credentials for this job..my salute to those warriors!!

others might say that the video would make the youngsters out there terrified and would not choose to join army eventually.. that might be true.tapi tak kenal maka tak cinta.rather than merempit-ing and die because of that, it is far better to die in serving the country isnt it?

to sum it up, i'm not a commando and a minah rempit neither. huhuhu.. and this blog is not a sort of sarcasm..its just a page where i can express my opinions, views and feelings. thank you. =)

DAMAI YANG HILANG...

Tercalar pelangi dihiris gerimis......
Senja pun merangkak menutup mentari
Terbias warnanya ke wajah
Lagu kedamaian tiada kedengaran
Bumi yang merekah disirami darah
Kemelut melanda tiada kesudahan
Kemusnahan bermaharajalela
Yang lemah menjadi mangsa
Anak-anak kecil mengongcangkan ibunya
Yang lemah longlai tak lagi bernyawa
Jeritan suara batinnya
Tak siapa mendengarnya
Tergaadaikan maruah oleh janji-janji
Terbayarkah dengan nyawa dan darah
Soalan yang tiada jawapan
Kemanusiaan telah lama hilang
Kini yang tinggal hanya ketakutan
Musnah kasih sayang dan persaudaraan
Tandus akhlak dan keimanan
Menyemai persengketaan


What has happened to palestin ripped my heart into pieces.....

My hometown....

9th december 2008. I rose from my bed happily. Nini (my cousin) and I were so excited to see our hometown after quite a long time we left it. I could still remember the last time I went home prior to my aunt's wedding and that was 6 years ago.
The plane took off at 9.30pm but we reached LCCT quite early. excitement was framed on our faces. The flight was smooth although the weather wasnt so good. there were 2 stewardess and a steward accompanying our flight that night. Nini was attracted to the steward whose name was Syahrizal. Amazingly, she hardly blinked her eyes looking at the guy as if he was an angel from the sky. would it be love from the first sight? maybe.. but maybe she was just admiring him. when the steward demonstrated the safety precautions in the hub of the plane,Nini was watching, silently and smiling from ear to ear. while me, was just playing with my rubic's cube. that cube has become my new preoccupation after Chan Jun Shen. sigh.. alright,enough with the 'love' tale.
We arrived at Kota Kinabalu International Airport 5 minutes to midnight. Nini and I were trusted to load luggages onto the trolley. while the rest of my family members were already stepped out of the terminal.3 cars waiting for us. they belong to Aunt Azizah,Uncle Jaju and Uncle Suhur. they were all mum's siblings. Aunt Azizah peered at me before she had the courage to approach. she said that she didnt recognize me at first. maybe because, physically, i've changed a lot. After all,it has been 6 years since my last visit.
It took us approximately 30 minutes from KKIA to Likas, where my grandma's house was situated. when we reached there,Hanif(My brother) went out of the car and ran to the nearest drain to vomit. He groaned and asked mama, "is there any other way to go Sabah? I cant stand being in the plane", maybe he felt dizzy at that time.we gigled and made a move into grandma's house. It was a 'village' house which made of 50% of wood and another 50% of bricks and stones.huhuhu. It was as huge as a bungalow yet very ordinary and it didnt have that kind of fancy look. There was where my mum grew up. when we got into the house, nenek was sitting and waiting for us and was accompanied by my uncle, the bridegroom-to-be. The last time I met nenek was last year when she came to KL just to visit us. She didnt change that much. her bun of hair still in black, her face wrinkled and her cheeks were saggy a bit. But the thing that I noticed the most was that she became a lil stooped than before. we had a chat for awhile before going to bed.
Aunt Azizah directed us to our temporary room. Nini and I had to stay in the middle room of the second floor. At the moment we entered that room,it looked so untidy and menacing. clothes here and there with unfolded bedspread and opaque mirror. As if it was left unuse for ages.However, the room would be 'our' room for 2 weeks. It was a claustrophobic little room. we tidy it a bit and slept since our eyes felt heavy as we were already drowsy. Zzzzzz...
The sun rose from the east, spreading its ray to the whole Sabah, giving a sign to everybody that it was another day to be faced. the sky streaked in purple and blue and I could hear the wake up calls the roosters made. It was a beautiful morning. i grabbed my phone and called Chan. Waking him and wishing him a very good morning. That morning, Nini and I had a walk around the village. so many things have changed. some for the better and some for the worse. I went to the jetty nearby nenek's house. and there I can see the Likas river.to my disappointment, the river looked dirty and the flow was no longer zealous as before. sigh... to be continued..