DAMAI YANG HILANG...

Tercalar pelangi dihiris gerimis......
Senja pun merangkak menutup mentari
Terbias warnanya ke wajah
Lagu kedamaian tiada kedengaran
Bumi yang merekah disirami darah
Kemelut melanda tiada kesudahan
Kemusnahan bermaharajalela
Yang lemah menjadi mangsa
Anak-anak kecil mengongcangkan ibunya
Yang lemah longlai tak lagi bernyawa
Jeritan suara batinnya
Tak siapa mendengarnya
Tergaadaikan maruah oleh janji-janji
Terbayarkah dengan nyawa dan darah
Soalan yang tiada jawapan
Kemanusiaan telah lama hilang
Kini yang tinggal hanya ketakutan
Musnah kasih sayang dan persaudaraan
Tandus akhlak dan keimanan
Menyemai persengketaan


What has happened to palestin ripped my heart into pieces.....

My hometown....

9th december 2008. I rose from my bed happily. Nini (my cousin) and I were so excited to see our hometown after quite a long time we left it. I could still remember the last time I went home prior to my aunt's wedding and that was 6 years ago.
The plane took off at 9.30pm but we reached LCCT quite early. excitement was framed on our faces. The flight was smooth although the weather wasnt so good. there were 2 stewardess and a steward accompanying our flight that night. Nini was attracted to the steward whose name was Syahrizal. Amazingly, she hardly blinked her eyes looking at the guy as if he was an angel from the sky. would it be love from the first sight? maybe.. but maybe she was just admiring him. when the steward demonstrated the safety precautions in the hub of the plane,Nini was watching, silently and smiling from ear to ear. while me, was just playing with my rubic's cube. that cube has become my new preoccupation after Chan Jun Shen. sigh.. alright,enough with the 'love' tale.
We arrived at Kota Kinabalu International Airport 5 minutes to midnight. Nini and I were trusted to load luggages onto the trolley. while the rest of my family members were already stepped out of the terminal.3 cars waiting for us. they belong to Aunt Azizah,Uncle Jaju and Uncle Suhur. they were all mum's siblings. Aunt Azizah peered at me before she had the courage to approach. she said that she didnt recognize me at first. maybe because, physically, i've changed a lot. After all,it has been 6 years since my last visit.
It took us approximately 30 minutes from KKIA to Likas, where my grandma's house was situated. when we reached there,Hanif(My brother) went out of the car and ran to the nearest drain to vomit. He groaned and asked mama, "is there any other way to go Sabah? I cant stand being in the plane", maybe he felt dizzy at that time.we gigled and made a move into grandma's house. It was a 'village' house which made of 50% of wood and another 50% of bricks and stones.huhuhu. It was as huge as a bungalow yet very ordinary and it didnt have that kind of fancy look. There was where my mum grew up. when we got into the house, nenek was sitting and waiting for us and was accompanied by my uncle, the bridegroom-to-be. The last time I met nenek was last year when she came to KL just to visit us. She didnt change that much. her bun of hair still in black, her face wrinkled and her cheeks were saggy a bit. But the thing that I noticed the most was that she became a lil stooped than before. we had a chat for awhile before going to bed.
Aunt Azizah directed us to our temporary room. Nini and I had to stay in the middle room of the second floor. At the moment we entered that room,it looked so untidy and menacing. clothes here and there with unfolded bedspread and opaque mirror. As if it was left unuse for ages.However, the room would be 'our' room for 2 weeks. It was a claustrophobic little room. we tidy it a bit and slept since our eyes felt heavy as we were already drowsy. Zzzzzz...
The sun rose from the east, spreading its ray to the whole Sabah, giving a sign to everybody that it was another day to be faced. the sky streaked in purple and blue and I could hear the wake up calls the roosters made. It was a beautiful morning. i grabbed my phone and called Chan. Waking him and wishing him a very good morning. That morning, Nini and I had a walk around the village. so many things have changed. some for the better and some for the worse. I went to the jetty nearby nenek's house. and there I can see the Likas river.to my disappointment, the river looked dirty and the flow was no longer zealous as before. sigh... to be continued..

A friend in need is a friend indeed........

I bet that everyone of us has friends... so do i.. according to the New Oxford Dictionary, friend is defined as a person that you know,you like and who likes you as well. However, not all friends will be there for you when things go wrongs and when you become puzzled, searching for a solution to a situation which fraught with questions that will lead you to a great deal of frustration... Wait a second.. am i creating a rhyme?? hahaha. well, think back, how many of your friends were there when you sick..when you faced a mountain of problems or when u shed ur tears.. think.....

Marini bt Hashim a.k.a nini was born on 13th of december 1988.born with a lovely smile , this sweet girl has mixed blood. her father was from Timor leste while her mother is sabahan.. She is a friend of mine..a cousin and a loving sister who stays beside me for better or worse.. we share everything including mama.hahaha. we share tears, laughter, bed,dreams, interests, hobbies, songs, dramas, experiences and even clothes.but she cant always wear mine as my size is smaller than hers. haha.. sorry sis..

well, talking about this cheerful girl, i can still remember when i faught with my dad.. she was there to lend a helping hand and a comfy shoulder to cry on. i did the same whenever she has problems. she is a true friend..as the saying goes.. a friend in need is a friend indeed.

so far , i think that she is the best friend one could ever had.. a friend whom i can never replace with anyone else..simply saying, she's one in a billion.I love her to death and i am sure that this feeling is mutual. thank you sis...u're the best!!!

school has been a worthwhile experience to me

I'm now in the 13th year of my school life, at the end of this year i'll be sitting for the all-important STPM examination. If I do weel, i might further my study to university and beyond. whatever it is, i have to admit that i'm now in the verge of adulthood and soon i have to make my own way through life. some people said, when we make mistakes, there are only 3 things we should ever do about it. admit it, learn from it and dont repeat it. that is totally true.. i've learned so many things in my 13-years of school life. while my other friends had already ended their school life, i decided to add-on another 2 more years just to sit for the STPM. i dont know whether i've made a wise decision or not because when thing go tough during this additional two years, i sometimes regret for being here... but what else can i do. just finish it off and see the results.

Talking about school, i can still remember the first day i stepped into Puchomg Utama (1). my mum bought an apartment in puchong so i have to move here...i was forced, to be precised.. hard for me to leave my previous school, SMK Ideal heights. everything seemed to be very different to me. new teachers, new friends, and new environment.. everything was just like a new world. then, i began to feel alienated and isolated. day to day, time to time, i started to befriend many students... some of them were resourceful and outstanding in academic while some were cheeky, ballyhoo, arrogant yet still appealing.. huhu. thats the reality, a school i s a place where many people of diverse cultures and attitudes covered on to. The same atmosphere i have to face when i moved into SMK Batu Lapan..well maybe a little bit different here because the race division is not balanced.for example, most of my classmates are chinese and indians..i am the one and only malay girl. undeniably, it was kind of hard for me to cope with this situation at first.. Just imagine ,listening to mandarin on your left and tamil on your right..huhu. but things go smooth after we know each other... tak kenal maka tak cinta right?? i am going to leave SMK Batu Lapan at the end of 2008 and i'm not feeling good about that after a very harmonious bond has been created between my friends and I..its just too hard to leave.

Talking about teachers, i found out that some teachers behave terribly. the teachers in this school are not different from my previous school. but no matter how the way they behave, they are still in the same boat. they have their own mission in order to build a respectable generation.. To me, a teacher is someone like superman...a known-all, a much feared and a respected figure, a good teacher is kind, not bias and not prejudiced. she or he does not care about the colour and racial differences but treats all of her pupils equally well. she does not favour any child more than another but everyone is the apple of her eyes.

school has been a worth-while experience to me.. for all my friends and teachers whom have helped mould a person i am today, i have only one thing to say.. that i will remember you in the most dearest way. thank you