Salboo Mcpie

One Step Closer..

2011-10-29T06:20:00.000-07:00

One step closer towards becoming an aunty… hahaha.. just can’t believe that my dearest cousin is getting married in two weeks time. Congratulations Marini.. wish u joy and happiness..always.. I know I should be happy for you.. I am. But deep down inside, there’s a feeling I could hardly explain. I just wanna let you know that I treasure every moment we spent together..the tears and laughter that we shared.. those memories will forever stay in my heart.. be it bitter, sweet or bittersweet..LOL =). I love you dear sis.. thank you so much for everything.. I know that we could never be like before since you’ll be having a new life but I really hope that we could still keep in touch…and meet up sometimes.. with your hubby and cute babiesssssssss of course.. hehehe.. Happy for you!! =)

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining

2011-06-16T09:37:00.000-07:00

I promised to meet Katherine (one of my form 6 friends) last Wednesday. I was so excited. Went to IOI mall with her, had lunch together and cried out hearts out. We talked about studies, school days and sweethearts.. hahaha.. I am so glad that Katherine has changed a lot for the better. Back then, she was the most peculiar girl I have ever met. When others went to canteen during recess, she would stay in the class doing math. It was hard to her smiles and to discover what kind of person she really is as she rarely opened up to people. But that was two years ago. Now she is a better Katherine. She has made more friends and she would be the one calling me to join the rest for “yamcha”. The most interesting part that she shared when we met stroked me with excitement. She finally has someone special.. wow..=)

Nonetheless, Katherine is only part of what I intend to write actually.. the same fine day, Sia Pui Yan and Yap Wai Hong joined us. But it was unplanned… both of them just happened to work there. Since the group got bigger, the sharing expanded from one topic to another. Here are several questions asked to summarize the two-hour conversation;

1) Where are you studying now
2) When are you getting engaged
3) What is your major?
4) What are you going to be?
5) When is your final year?

And many more……

I felt down when answering those questions.. because compared to my friends.. I am far left behind.. I still have another 3 years to finish my degree. When I got into IPBA in 2009, the pressure was almost unbearable. Being among those who are younger than me makes me feel like I belong neither with them nor with my friends who are already in their final year. Thing that I regret most is my late application. If only I got into IPBA right after my SPM, I would have gone abroad..and 2012 would me my final year. I often told my mom how I regret that I did not apply earlier and her response would always silence me. “Tak baik berkalau-kalau… setiap apa yang terjadi tu ada hikmahnya”, she said. Those words are truly magical that they have the power to neutralize all the negative feelings I have about myself. Therefore, whenever I feel regretful, these are the things I would remind myself of;

1) Better late than never
2) The scholarship that I’m receiving helps a lot in lessening the burdens my parents have to shoulder
3) Age is just a number
4) Total of 5 ½ years is not that long if I enjoy every moment
5) There’s nothing wrong to be different
6) Say “If had applied earlier and studied abroad, I might not have met my wonderful form 6 friends and Raja Asyraf <3” instead of
“If I had applied earlier, I would have studied abroad”
7) Every cloud has a silver lining

The last on the list has the biggest impact…

Instead of regretting the past which cannot be undone, isn’t it better to move forward and cherish every single day with gratefulness? Dear friends… life does not always turn out the way we expect. In my life, I’ve met a lawyer who gave up her career to be a fulltime housewife, a doctor with passion in art and a law student who ended up taking business. The simplest explanation for these instances is that God has plans for us. No matter how our life twists, live it to the fullest and if it turns out to be something you hate, learn to love it… because without love, passion and interest, life is gonna be hell for you.

Why Salboo Mcpie?

2011-06-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

Notice the name above? When I was in form 5, my friends called me by that name. When I shifted to SMK Batu 8 (don’t laugh at the school’s name ok..) my new friends asked, “Why Salboo Mcpie?” or… instead of that, they would just say “Your nickname is so funny, not cool etc…” hehehe..

Now, let me tell you why. Let’s start with the SALLBOO part. When I was in form 5, I befriended quite a number of Indian friends.. I had one friend named Deebadarshini and people called her DEEBOO. Even if you watch Hindi movies, a person by the name Sanjana is called ‘Sanju’ and so forth. That’s how I got the name salBoo.

what about Aisywarya Rai? Aisyu perhaps.. =)

As for the McPie part, I have no idea why but my friend who liked cheese was called McCheese and my best friend who liked ‘crown’ was called McCrown. But don’t judge so easily. I was called McPie not because I liked pie. Curious? I was born on the 22nd of July. When you put the date in fraction it becomes 22/7. It’s the pie you learn in math.

Wallah!

That’s why people call me Salboo Mcpie =) initially it was just for fun. never thought that it will stick until now. I like the name now..it makes me feel young.. hahaha.. LOL

Writing Again

2011-06-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

When I visited my blog, I realized that it has been nearly 2 years since the last time I blogged. That is quite some time, really. Couldnt recall y I stopped blogging.. Lost the passion maybe. or maybe because there was just so much to write about.. literature, linguistics, child development, philosophy etc… Not to mention the assignments that I’m paid to do (need to get some cash) Sigh. I remember a quote by Shirley Lim, the author of ‘Native Daugher’ (a short story that I had to analyze),

“I had a sense I should write about things I knew rather than read about things I didn’t know. I wanted to write my own voice, my own community” ~Shirley Lim

Here I am, writing my own voice again. Sometimes when I read people’s blogs, I wonder what I should write about myself since my life is so plain that I have to work really hard digging up something to babble about. Reasons for that are;

1) I don’t have anything on my own to be proud of,
2)I’m not famous like other people who appear on TV, Newspaper, Youtube etc
3)I don’t have skills to share like Hana Tajima (I didn’t know her until my fren told me) or Along Arman (super high-tech girl who teaches people how to customize blogs)
4)I don’t travel anywhere (have no nice pictures or new things to share

That’s why…

but why do I write again? Perhaps, the only thing I’m good at is writing and I lost the confidence to write since somebody ridiculed my English despite the fact that I’m an English teacher. (Shame on me, really). LOL. So why write now? To answer that, let’s just say that I had a nightmare, a wizard threatened to turn me into an autistic child so I can never write again if I don’t write now. Need to practice making up grandmother stories and fairy tales for children. LOL. =p

So what exactly happened over the years of disappearance?

MANY THINGS… My cousin sister, Nini got engaged with the love of her life. My twin aunties got married on the same day and they’re now expecting their first child. How amazing.. born on the same day, went to the same school, got married on the same day and I heard that their due date is also the same. LOL. It seems like my family is expanding this year since Im going have 6 newborn cousin brothers and sisters. Phew.. =) As for me, studies went well over the last four semesters. Except for the last semester, I think I failed a paper but the results haven’t come out yet. Nonetheless, planning to accept it positively and strive harder the semesters to come. =)

I just started watching Glee. To my awe, many said how anachronistic I am that I just discovered the famous show. Yeah I am… I don’t even follow Maharaja Lawak, Akademi Fantasia or anything on TV, so you should have expected my ignorance towards the show aired on Astro. Oh! One more thing, I don’t have astro at home. Pathetic? =)

Lets come back to ‘why do I write again..’

When I wrote this post, I noticed how hard it is for me, trying to write about myself, my life. In studying literature, I’ve been so good at reading between lines and interpreting the messages embedded in poems, short stories and novels. Reflecting on myself and interpreting the constipation I have when writing this, I figured out that I do not know myself. I do not know what’s so special about being me and that leads me to depreciate the woman in the mirror. Keronika (that’s why), I write again…=)

A deep permanent experience worth more than gold..

2009-12-26T09:12:00.001-08:00

When I was a kid, my mom always asked me about my ambition and my answer would always be the same, to be a medical doctor. Ambition is something we really want to have or do but I realized that when I answered my mom’s question, it was more to just answering in order to make her feel glad. It was not the thing I really want to do neither the thing I really want to have.

I had been in confusion for 19 years, living and studying to pass a series of examination with hope to fulfill my mom’s expectation, without discovering my true desire. After I finished my STPM, I worked as a part time teacher in a private kindergarten where majority of the children there were Chinese and Indian. I then began to learn the art of teaching and the beauty of being an educationist. Frankly speaking, I’ve never imagined myself as a teacher and when I was there, standing in front of those adorable children, something inside me began to grow. A genuine ambition started to breed. I then confronted my mom, telling her that I cannot be the gold she wanted to see. From that moment on, I knew that her vision of me with a stethoscope began to fade. She was disappointed yet I knew she understood me well.

Dealing with five-year-old children in the kindergarten really tested me on my patience. I was teaching all subjects from Mathematics, English, Science and many more and I have to admit that it was not an easy job and not all people have credentials for this job. Some of my students were brainy, probably because their parents have taught them the basic knowledge at home while some came with empty-minded. Some of them did not understand a single word in English and I had to use gestures, images and graphics to show them the meaning of certain words. I was frustrated when one of my students could not even read a page from Peter and Jane book even after repeating the same page for a week. This was when, I realized what my teachers felt when their students could not catch up things that had been taught. However, I knew that I shall not give up and quit.

I’ve learnt many things throughout my experience, working as a teacher. I had to resign after working at the Urbantot’s Kindergarten for three months in order to further my study in this teaching field. A week after my resignation, Lakhvinder’s mother called me and told that her son refused to go to school because I was no longer there.I coaxed him by promising that I’ll give him a visit one day. It was a nice feeling to be remembered by my students and at that time, I felt the satisfaction of being a teacher.

Working there for three months might be a very short period yet it leads me to the path which I’ve decided to take for probably the rest of my life. It has wiped away the confusion in me, providing me with a clear vision of my future and ambition. Three months but it leaves a deep permanent experience worth more than gold.

The real Sinchan

2009-09-12T22:12:00.000-07:00

well..well..well..look who's here..isn't he cute?huhuhu.. fyi, this is a photo of the real sinchan whose whole figure has been animated and has became the most renowned cartoon character nowadays. do you like watching this cartoon? i sometimes enjoy watching it with my little sister and brother yet sometimes this very naughty character annoys me. huhuhu.. i wonder if the real sinchan behave that way too.. well then, this is what i can share for today. c u again next time.. i gotta go and watch sinchan..keh3.. salam...

National Choir 2009

2009-09-01T06:33:00.000-07:00

hello there, i'm back after being away for 4 days...i miss my laptop, my mama, room, nini, and IPBA very much but definately not the class of course...hahaha. last 4 days i went to Putrajaya for the National Choir practice. we knew about this event 2 weeks before, if i'm not mistaken. disappointment framed on our faces as we knew that we're not gonna enjoy our 10-day-break. I symphatized those who had already bought the tickets to their hometown. as for me, i was not badly affected as my abode is just nearby and i can go back every weekend. the last day before the break was full of surprise..HEP announced that the choir practice would only start on 28th August. the news travelled fast and everybody was smiling from ear to ear at the end of the day. thank God...

after enjoying ourselves for almost 5days, finally we had to go back to IPBA one day before the national choir practice started. briefing was given to inform us roughly on what we should and should not do. that night, we had our bags packed and pushed off to Putrajaya on friday morning... as we arrived at Putrajaya, i saw many IPGM buses from all the states in Malaysia.. a 21-level-flat became our temporary abode. it was okay and convenient enough for me. the first day was the most tiring one as we had to register ourselves, take the mattress, pillow, blanket and so on.. As the mortality rate of H1N1 is increasing day by day, safety precaution was taken by BPG such as checking the body temperature of all the participants. those who were having the symptoms had to go back and were not allowed to participate.. good for them as they can continue their sweet days sitting at home...hehe...

the schedule on the second day started as early as 5am.. we had to sahur at 3am and slept for only 2 hours... sigh... 97buses were provided to drive us to parliament that morning. to my disappoinment, the choir practice was not like what i expected. We had to stand on the right and left side of the road and sing nothing... merely like a waitress, welcoming the VVIP into an exclusive restaurant.. the practice ended very fast and we reached putrajaya at 10am.. i slept from 11am until 4.30pm.. huhu

the third day practise was the best as the practice took place at precint 18 itself. meaning that we didnt have to wake up early morning and rush to parliament. the cloud started turning grey when the practice was just about to start.. hehe.. good news for us..we were allowed to go back and the practice continued at 3pm.

here comes the final day... we had to wear an ugly baju batek..hahaha.. the gurls laughed looking at the guys's and so did the guys. yazid sms me early morning , telling me how frustrated he was...wearing that batek.he said he looked like a mamak amek order. hahaha.. i guess he was right. the event which was so called a 'choir' was going on smoothly that day and it ended very fast. i was standing among my friends except for dayah..she was lost somewhere..i tried to find her but the deluged pavement stopped me. i managed to find her only when the event ended... we pushed off to Putrjaya together..

well, to sum it up, it was not so bad nway... i gained new experience troughout this 4-day-choir... i managed to survive....yeehaa.... hahaha.. orite then, c ya next time ..bye

Orientation week

2009-08-06T22:36:00.000-07:00

hello there..it has been quite "a while" ever since the last time i updated my blog.. i was quite busy deciding my future actually..huhu. i registered myself at Unisel and studied there until i got the offer from Ministry Of Education. it was a tough period, when i had to analyse which option offers me more advantages. After filtering the pros and cons of both options, i decided to be at the place i'm staying now..Institut Perguruan Bahasa Antarabangsa (IPBA).

The orientation week i had here was not really different from the one I had in Unisel. It was going on for one week.One torturous week,to be precised. =) my friends and I slept approximately 3 hours a day and just imagine how our eyes looked like. we looked like zombies. Many briefings were given on how to live in IPBA and the procedures, rules and regulations that we need to adhere. The briefings were given in the main hall most of the time, where the conditioned air lulled our eyes till they were completely shut. This is the time when i learnt many sleeping skills..which will probably be applied in class.huhu..

We didnt sleep all the time..just when it came to the dragged on talk.hehehe.. But the talk given by Sir Aslam Khan captured me. it was sort of motivating and uplifting. He made us think of the reasons for being here and being on the route towards becoming a teacher. Undeniably, he's a superb motivator! his words,acts and gestures made us laugh till we coulnt even tell when we gonna stop. One of his remarkable word is "A teacher makes a difference". Thanks Sir.

The last day of the week was the day we had been waiting ever since the first day. The closing ceremony was going smoothly and that was the very first time we met Dr.Sofi bin Ali, The Director of IPBA. his voice was thick and his words were full with accent. i wasnt so sure which accent it was. hehe.. he talked for quite a long time and suddenly stopped and asked one guy who was sleeping at that time."I'm so tired" the guy replied. then Dr Sofi asked the MPPs "what time did you let the people off to bed?". "11.30" they answered. huhu.. i was about to laugh.. well, if we were let off to bed that early, we wouldnt had been that tired.

So that's how the orientation ended.. we had our classes the following week..our new life...

A Part of the Training or Violence?

2009-02-03T20:39:00.000-08:00

last few days I watched Buletin Utama. I was attracted to a news that kept me glued to the screen. the news was about an army being beaten by few other armies. so pathetic. based on their uniform, language and accent, i was highly confident that they were malaysians. they were commandos if im not mistaken. it brought me sudden shock which was then triggered a question. was that part of the training module or some sort of punishment to that particular person?curious me. some of the armies outside there might be saying that outsiders do not understand military life and to them, it might just be a normal thing to see.However, the person who stepped forward and exposed the video to TV3 was an army himself. so how would that be explained? why would an army reveal his dissatisfaction towards his own company? was that mean, he himself doesnt understand military life after over 20 years being an army??

well, maybe he doesnt understand. because being a commando is not as easy as people might think. do not make a hasty judgement. we ourselves must first know what is commando before making any assumptions. as far as i concern, commando is one of a group of soldiers who is trained to make SUDDEN attacks in enemy areas. they are trained to be super duper fit! they ought to surpass the threshold of mental and physical endurance. why? becuse its their duty. so how would us expect their trainings to look like? to just cry and quit when being beaten? or to withdraw and run when being attacked?

They are commandos..combatants..the shield. when civillians like us would cry in a war, they, the combatants rise, fight and protect. thats why they are trained so.. and not everybody has the credentials for this job..my salute to those warriors!!

others might say that the video would make the youngsters out there terrified and would not choose to join army eventually.. that might be true.tapi tak kenal maka tak cinta.rather than merempit-ing and die because of that, it is far better to die in serving the country isnt it?

to sum it up, i'm not a commando and a minah rempit neither. huhuhu.. and this blog is not a sort of sarcasm..its just a page where i can express my opinions, views and feelings. thank you. =)

DAMAI YANG HILANG...

2009-01-29T03:08:00.000-08:00

Tercalar pelangi dihiris gerimis......
Senja pun merangkak menutup mentari
Terbias warnanya ke wajah
Lagu kedamaian tiada kedengaran
Bumi yang merekah disirami darah
Kemelut melanda tiada kesudahan
Kemusnahan bermaharajalela
Yang lemah menjadi mangsa
Anak-anak kecil mengongcangkan ibunya
Yang lemah longlai tak lagi bernyawa
Jeritan suara batinnya
Tak siapa mendengarnya
Tergaadaikan maruah oleh janji-janji
Terbayarkah dengan nyawa dan darah
Soalan yang tiada jawapan
Kemanusiaan telah lama hilang
Kini yang tinggal hanya ketakutan
Musnah kasih sayang dan persaudaraan
Tandus akhlak dan keimanan
Menyemai persengketaan

What has happened to palestin ripped my heart into pieces.....

My hometown....

2009-01-19T02:38:00.000-08:00

9th december 2008. I rose from my bed happily. Nini (my cousin) and I were so excited to see our hometown after quite a long time we left it. I could still remember the last time I went home prior to my aunt's wedding and that was 6 years ago.
The plane took off at 9.30pm but we reached LCCT quite early. excitement was framed on our faces. The flight was smooth although the weather wasnt so good. there were 2 stewardess and a steward accompanying our flight that night. Nini was attracted to the steward whose name was Syahrizal. Amazingly, she hardly blinked her eyes looking at the guy as if he was an angel from the sky. would it be love from the first sight? maybe.. but maybe she was just admiring him. when the steward demonstrated the safety precautions in the hub of the plane,Nini was watching, silently and smiling from ear to ear. while me, was just playing with my rubic's cube. that cube has become my new preoccupation after Chan Jun Shen. sigh.. alright,enough with the 'love' tale.
We arrived at Kota Kinabalu International Airport 5 minutes to midnight. Nini and I were trusted to load luggages onto the trolley. while the rest of my family members were already stepped out of the terminal.3 cars waiting for us. they belong to Aunt Azizah,Uncle Jaju and Uncle Suhur. they were all mum's siblings. Aunt Azizah peered at me before she had the courage to approach. she said that she didnt recognize me at first. maybe because, physically, i've changed a lot. After all,it has been 6 years since my last visit.
It took us approximately 30 minutes from KKIA to Likas, where my grandma's house was situated. when we reached there,Hanif(My brother) went out of the car and ran to the nearest drain to vomit. He groaned and asked mama, "is there any other way to go Sabah? I cant stand being in the plane", maybe he felt dizzy at that time.we gigled and made a move into grandma's house. It was a 'village' house which made of 50% of wood and another 50% of bricks and stones.huhuhu. It was as huge as a bungalow yet very ordinary and it didnt have that kind of fancy look. There was where my mum grew up. when we got into the house, nenek was sitting and waiting for us and was accompanied by my uncle, the bridegroom-to-be. The last time I met nenek was last year when she came to KL just to visit us. She didnt change that much. her bun of hair still in black, her face wrinkled and her cheeks were saggy a bit. But the thing that I noticed the most was that she became a lil stooped than before. we had a chat for awhile before going to bed.
Aunt Azizah directed us to our temporary room. Nini and I had to stay in the middle room of the second floor. At the moment we entered that room,it looked so untidy and menacing. clothes here and there with unfolded bedspread and opaque mirror. As if it was left unuse for ages.However, the room would be 'our' room for 2 weeks. It was a claustrophobic little room. we tidy it a bit and slept since our eyes felt heavy as we were already drowsy. Zzzzzz...
The sun rose from the east, spreading its ray to the whole Sabah, giving a sign to everybody that it was another day to be faced. the sky streaked in purple and blue and I could hear the wake up calls the roosters made. It was a beautiful morning. i grabbed my phone and called Chan. Waking him and wishing him a very good morning. That morning, Nini and I had a walk around the village. so many things have changed. some for the better and some for the worse. I went to the jetty nearby nenek's house. and there I can see the Likas river.to my disappointment, the river looked dirty and the flow was no longer zealous as before. sigh... to be continued..

A friend in need is a friend indeed........

2008-10-31T00:58:00.000-07:00

I bet that everyone of us has friends... so do i.. according to the New Oxford Dictionary, friend is defined as a person that you know,you like and who likes you as well. However, not all friends will be there for you when things go wrongs and when you become puzzled, searching for a solution to a situation which fraught with questions that will lead you to a great deal of frustration... Wait a second.. am i creating a rhyme?? hahaha. well, think back, how many of your friends were there when you sick..when you faced a mountain of problems or when u shed ur tears.. think.....

Marini bt Hashim a.k.a nini was born on 13th of december 1988.born with a lovely smile , this sweet girl has mixed blood. her father was from Timor leste while her mother is sabahan.. She is a friend of mine..a cousin and a loving sister who stays beside me for better or worse.. we share everything including mama.hahaha. we share tears, laughter, bed,dreams, interests, hobbies, songs, dramas, experiences and even clothes.but she cant always wear mine as my size is smaller than hers. haha.. sorry sis..

well, talking about this cheerful girl, i can still remember when i faught with my dad.. she was there to lend a helping hand and a comfy shoulder to cry on. i did the same whenever she has problems. she is a true friend..as the saying goes.. a friend in need is a friend indeed.

so far , i think that she is the best friend one could ever had.. a friend whom i can never replace with anyone else..simply saying, she's one in a billion.I love her to death and i am sure that this feeling is mutual. thank you sis...u're the best!!!

school has been a worthwhile experience to me

2008-10-29T23:21:00.000-07:00

I'm now in the 13th year of my school life, at the end of this year i'll be sitting for the all-important STPM examination. If I do weel, i might further my study to university and beyond. whatever it is, i have to admit that i'm now in the verge of adulthood and soon i have to make my own way through life. some people said, when we make mistakes, there are only 3 things we should ever do about it. admit it, learn from it and dont repeat it. that is totally true.. i've learned so many things in my 13-years of school life. while my other friends had already ended their school life, i decided to add-on another 2 more years just to sit for the STPM. i dont know whether i've made a wise decision or not because when thing go tough during this additional two years, i sometimes regret for being here... but what else can i do. just finish it off and see the results.

Talking about school, i can still remember the first day i stepped into Puchomg Utama (1). my mum bought an apartment in puchong so i have to move here...i was forced, to be precised.. hard for me to leave my previous school, SMK Ideal heights. everything seemed to be very different to me. new teachers, new friends, and new environment.. everything was just like a new world. then, i began to feel alienated and isolated. day to day, time to time, i started to befriend many students... some of them were resourceful and outstanding in academic while some were cheeky, ballyhoo, arrogant yet still appealing.. huhu. thats the reality, a school i s a place where many people of diverse cultures and attitudes covered on to. The same atmosphere i have to face when i moved into SMK Batu Lapan..well maybe a little bit different here because the race division is not balanced.for example, most of my classmates are chinese and indians..i am the one and only malay girl. undeniably, it was kind of hard for me to cope with this situation at first.. Just imagine ,listening to mandarin on your left and tamil on your right..huhu. but things go smooth after we know each other... tak kenal maka tak cinta right?? i am going to leave SMK Batu Lapan at the end of 2008 and i'm not feeling good about that after a very harmonious bond has been created between my friends and I..its just too hard to leave.

Talking about teachers, i found out that some teachers behave terribly. the teachers in this school are not different from my previous school. but no matter how the way they behave, they are still in the same boat. they have their own mission in order to build a respectable generation.. To me, a teacher is someone like superman...a known-all, a much feared and a respected figure, a good teacher is kind, not bias and not prejudiced. she or he does not care about the colour and racial differences but treats all of her pupils equally well. she does not favour any child more than another but everyone is the apple of her eyes.

school has been a worth-while experience to me.. for all my friends and teachers whom have helped mould a person i am today, i have only one thing to say.. that i will remember you in the most dearest way. thank you